However long the night, the day will break. -African proverb
It's been a while since my last post.
I'm terribly sorry if my absence from writing has dissapointed you as some of you have expressed to me that it has. I have been very busy these past few months. I've got so much to tell you! My summer was amazing! I hope that yours was also. This past summer was the best of my entire life so far!
I worked at the local pool as a life guard over the summer so I had some money coming in which is nice to be able to say, but the reality of it is that all of the money I made went straight into the bank & I won't see it until it comes time to buy either a car, or pay for college tuition. While working at the pool I met this guy. His name is Ryan & I get butterflies every time I hear it. I have never met anyone quite like him. I really like him a lot & that actually kind of scares me.. I feel rather vulnerable because of it. But whatever..
I had the pleasure of meeting his family to get acquainted with them exactly one day before he left for U.S Army basic training. I miss him terribly, a letter from him makes my entire week. In my last letter I told him to look at the moon every night at 2100 hours. So, every night, at that moment I do the same thing in hopes that, he is too. I simply cannot wait to see him again! He is the best & you should be jealous of our complicated; yet adorable relationship. Oh & did I mention his family is absolutely awesome?! I love his little sister as if she were of my own blood. We have a lot in common so we have become good friends in Ryan's absence.
I don't think that Ry knows about the past 2 years of my life though. I closed that chapter of my life about a month ago when I was discharged from the care of both, Dr. Bernal (My rheumatologist) & Dr. Chang (my plastic/ orthopedic surgeon). I am now completely pain free & I feel amazing. I can finally live my life again! It feels great to be discharged now I can move on from that part of my past & not be forced to have to keep revisiting it because of follow up appointments. Perhaps I'll tell Ryan about it all someday but for right now, this is where the story will live. Don't ask me about my scars. I do not wish to tell the story that lies beneath them again.
I know that I promised to write about the treatment that I recieved for my RND. I wrote a good portion of what I had intended to post and then realized that I was not moving forward with my life. How will I achieve any goals or start anything new if I am still focusing on things in my past?
My RND could come back at any time, as there is no cure & being newly pain free only means that I have entered full remission. However, though my RND & everything I have gone through has made me stronger, taught me to persevere, & has helped make me into the person that I am today; this disease does not define me. As I tell fellow RND patients, "RND is a Disease, not an identity."
I did not delete what I have written & perhaps I will finish it someday. But that day is not today.
Although I hate this awful disease, I do have it to thank for me getting into college at 17 years young. I applied to a special program at a college near me. In which I will be recieving a degree and my diploma at the same time. When applying to get in I had to write three essays. All three basically had to do with things that you have suffered though & have overcome. I of course told about my
countless hospitalizations & got in. Desperate times call for desperate measures & I sure was desparare to get accepted into this program.
I've let my past go past & I'm better for it. I'm letting go of the thoughts that do not make me strong and I believe this can be the same for everyone. Don't dwell on things that you cannot change. Just live your life.
Long live living in the moment.
Song of the day: living in the moment- Jason Mraz
Meliora. :)
