“Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”
-Deborah Reber
I am a few months older, and therefore I am a few months wiser than I was when I wrote the post titled "Que Sera Sera".
5th stage of grief is complete.
When I saw Dr. Bernal for my last clinic visit, he discharged me from the care of the Rheumatology department at CHOP.
With a big grin on his face, he said, "You're doing so well Meg. You finally get it! & I'm proud of you, now you just have to keep doing what you're doing."
And Just like that, the tables were turned. Now that I'm discharged, he's is no longer the one who's leaving, I am. Which for some reason in my mind is a whole lot easier, and isn't sad at all.
Hmmmm control issues much Meg?
In any case, I'm Golden with the whole bye bye Bernal thing. & as an added bonus, I'm nearly pain free! Time to enjoy my summer, and the rest of my life.
In other news...
I found out that my other favorite doctor is leaving too!! As none of you know, I am a patient of the GI department at CHOP. (Long story that I don't like talking about short, I got kinda sick around this time last year & that landed me in appointment after appointment with Dr. R!) She is legit, my bestie. My parents & I both totally love her. & I'm going to miss her a whole lot. She claims that she has left me with a doc that I'm going to really like, we'll see about that.... haha
What really sucks about her leaving is that she finally figured out what's wrong with my stomach right after my last appointment with her so now I have to start fresh with Dr. New Guy.
I found out something new about my RND! For the longest time I've been wondering "Why now?" I mean I had gotten hurt plenty of times as a kid, no real injuries, but the normal twisted ankle here, scraped knee there, the usual stuff that came along with playing with a big brother in the back yard growing up, but I never experienced any sort of pain that was out of proportion to the injury! I even had a crushed finger as a kid! the tip of the bone in my right middle finger was totally crushed, the skin was split open, & it was gushing blood. But I never got RND, they took some x-rays & then I think they just sewed it up & sent me on my way! All I got was a scar. No debilitating nerve pain, so why now? I finally asked this question to a member of the AMPS team at CHOP, & the answer I got made such perfect sense I don't know how I didn't think of it myself! There is lots of research going on right now on RND, and apparently one of the things that they think they're starting to see is that this disease commonly comes out whatever reason in kids that are going through puberty! Of course!!! I was 15 when I had my first surgery! So I think that's likely the answer to the whole "Why Now?" thing.. I'm hoping that through more research, they can figure out the "Why Me?"
More updates...
I have been working as a volunteer for a local EMS squad for almost 6 months now & I really enjoy it.
I'm celebrating my 18th birthday this weekend with my best friend! we're going to go to the aquarium, & if the weather is good, we're going to go down the shore!
That's about it though... I can't think of anything else that's new with me & I can't really think about anything to write about, sooo goodbye until next time!!
Song(s) of the day:
Everything has Changed - Taylor Swift ft. Ed Sheeran
Autumn leaves - Ed Sheeran
Meliora :)
