RND. A Change of Heart

"Pain is weakness leaving the body." - U.S. Marine Corps.

“It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”
 -Chuck Palahniuk

I had what well may be a life changing experience this week.
A sobering experience.
I was yelled at by my best friend.

Now, I know it may seem odd, but this was a great thing, which came at just the right time.
Most teenage girls probably would have gotten mad or upset with their friend, have an argument with them, and then they would not speak to each other.
Instead, I am happy.
Thankful even, that she was able to be blunt enough to get her point across, in such a way that it could get through my thick skull.
She had to reprimand me in order for me to finally open my eyes to the fact that I was wrong.
She and I are now closer than ever before.
After six weeks of people trying to tell me some of the same exact things she said to me and I was too stubborn to listen...
(One in particular did a great job telling me exactly what I needed to hear. He said all of the right words at perhaps exactly the wrong time.
I listened to everything Dr. Bernal said to me and still remember everything, but I wasn't ready or willing to apply hardly anything he said..)
I think I'm finished fighting those who are trying to help me for the most part now though.
I'm pretty sure the act of me stepping out of my own way is long overdue.
I'm not going to say the exact details of the conversation that I had with my friend, or who she is because quite frankly it's no one's business.
But I will say to everyone at CHOP who may read this and has tried to help me by telling me to do my home exercise program, and various other forms of advice and council. Both patient's and staff.
I'm sorry I was so stubborn. I see now that you were only trying to help me. I love you all.
I am now going to try my best to listen to, and apply the things you have told me with the help of my best friend whom I'm not sure how I'm not related to... (I know, I know, "It's about time Meg!!")
Everyone has to be ready for it right? It just took me about nine weeks for me to finally accept the fact that it's time to change.
Is it too late?
I hope not.
It would be nice to have my life completely back.
I miss myself.
To everyone who has worked with me (and put up with me) in the CHOP RND program, I love you soooo much. Thank you for all that you have done for me.
And thank you T.K.H for yelling at me when that was exactly what I needed, and for always being there for me. You have helped me more than you will ever know. I love you so much sis!

Song of the day: For Good- Wicked

Meliora :)